By Dr Julia Lyons, Principal Clinical Lead, Onebright
Grief can be treated in workplaces as a short, disruptive event rather than a life-changing psychological process. Compassionate leave is typically positioned as the main support an employee needs, yet the emotional, cognitive and physical impact of bereavement continues long after someone returns to their role.
This year’s theme for Grief Awareness Week “Growing with Grief” reminds us that people do not “get over or come to terms with” a loss. Instead, they gradually grow around it, expanding their capacity to live alongside their grief rather than moving beyond it. For employers, this theme highlights an important question, what can be done to support the process?
The return to work
The early days following a bereavement tend to involve shock, disbelief and a sense of emotional overwhelm. These reactions are normal and expected, but they do not resolve when an employee re-enters the workplace. Grief unfolds in stages that may include sadness, anger, guilt, disorientation and eventually a gradual adaptation to life without the person who died. These stages are not linear, and they can resurface unexpectedly months after the loss.
When employees return to work, they are often doing so during a stage when the intensity of their grief is still increasing, typical processes include denial, anger, bargaining and depression. The world may assume the individual is coping, but internally they may be struggling more than ever. Recent research reports that 92% of people experience at least one health impact following loss, including memory issues, anxiety, sleep disruption, and frequent illness.
The hidden impact of grief on performance
Many employees return to work determined to appear stable and capable. They may feel pressure to reassure colleagues or fear being perceived as less committed. This instinct to perform can mask significant internal difficulty. Grief can affect concentration, memory and decision-making, leading to higher cognitive load and slower task completion. Emotionally, people may experience sudden surges of sadness, irritability or withdrawal. Physically, grief often brings sleep disruption, headaches and heightened fatigue.
These reactions reflect the immense energy required to process loss while functioning professionally. The danger arises when employees push themselves to maintain a facade of normality, using work as a distraction. While this can help in the short term, overreliance on avoidance may prevent healthy emotional processing and heighten the risk of Prolonged Grief Disorder, a condition in which intense longing, intrusive memories or avoidance behaviours persist and interfere with daily life. Employers who understand this hidden impact can intervene early, creating space for healthier adjustment.
What it means to “Grow With Grief” at work
Growing with grief does not mean diminishing the importance of the person who has died. Instead, it reflects a gradual broadening of a person’s capacity to function, connect and find meaning again. This growth can involve experimenting with new routines, rediscovering activities that once felt overwhelming, reconnecting with social support or slowly rebuilding professional confidence. None of these changes cancel out the grief, they simply allow the individual’s life to expand around it.
Workplaces can support this growth by offering environments where grief is acknowledged, respected and understood. Employees are far more likely to adapt healthily when they feel genuinely supported rather than observed or rushed.
-
Supporting grief beyond leave
Supporting employees after a loss requires more than a single act of compassion. It demands a sustained, thoughtful approach that acknowledges the complexity and unpredictability of grief. Studies have found that the process of settling affairs related to loss can take up to 20 months. Meanwhile, most UK organisations offer only 3 to 5 days of bereavement leave, despite the CIPD finding that over half of bereaved employees need significantly more time or ongoing adjustments to function effectively.
-
Ongoing, open communication
Regular, gentle check-ins are essential. A conversation in the first week back is helpful, but it must be followed by continued contact. These conversations do not need to be formal or intense, they can be short and supportive, giving the employee space to express what is manageable and what feels difficult. The goal is to ensure they do not feel forgotten as time passes since the initial event and return to work.
-
Flexible and evolving adjustments
Flexibility is often one of the most powerful tools employers can offer. Adjustments might involve temporary changes to workload, remote or hybrid working options, a reduction in external-facing responsibilities or simply permission to take breaks when emotions surge. Importantly, flexibility must be revisited. What helps in the first month may not be what the employee needs in the third or sixth month. Grief changes, and workplace support will be most effective when it changes with it.
-
Grief competent leadership
Some managers may avoid discussing grief because they fear saying the wrong thing. This silence can inadvertently communicate discomfort or judgement. Training managers in supportive communication, understanding the dynamics of grief, and recognising signs of more complex difficulties can transform an employee’s experience. When managers feel equipped, they approach conversations with confidence and compassion, which can significantly influence an employee’s recovery.
-
A compassionate workplace culture
Beyond individual managers, organisational culture plays a central role. When leaders openly acknowledge grief, allow space for humanity and avoid the implicit expectation of rapid recovery, they send a clear message that grieving employees do not need to hide. Culture also matters during emotionally significant dates such as anniversaries, birthdays or holidays, when grief often resurfaces. A workplace that recognises these moments as valid and normal makes employees feel valued and safe.
-
Strengthening policies and support pathways
Policies should extend beyond statutory bereavement leave. Employers should consider inclusive policies that address loss, offer phased returns, accommodate flexible scheduling and provide clear access to mental health support. Employees are more likely to seek help when they know what support is available, and this is signposted and easy to navigate.
Growing together
Every organisation will encounter grief in its workforce. What distinguishes supportive workplaces from the rest is not the size of their policies but the depth of their compassion. By looking beyond short-term leave and committing to long-term, flexible, human support, employers can help employees grow with their grief rather than be overwhelmed by it.
Grief is universal. Support should be too. Workplaces can be understanding, patient and care to give grieving employees the space not only to cope, but to grow at their own pace, in their own way, with dignity and without pressure.
If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, please reach out for support – you are not alone. See some organisations below:
- https://www.sands.org.uk/
- https://www.ataloss.org/
- https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/
- https://thenbs.org/
- https://www.hospiceuk.org/our-campaigns/dying-matters/dying-matters-resources
- https://www.sueryder.org/
- https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/support-and-self-care/
- https://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/
- https://www.childbereavementuk.org/
- https://www.bereavedparentsclub.org.uk/
- https://www.empathy.com/blog/what-the-data-reveals-about-health-and-productivity-after-loss